Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize