I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
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