im holly from the hills drunk
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize
