i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
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