i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
Randomize
