Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
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