Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
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