I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Randomize
