Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
Randomize
