Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
third nipple confirmed
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
