plz talk dirty to me
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
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