Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
Your mouth is God's brothel.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
