Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
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