Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
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