and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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