Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
