you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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