I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
No subtext here. People are naked.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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