And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Randomize
