I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
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