he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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