I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
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