Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
