found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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