Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
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