I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
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