I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize
