Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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