so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
