I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
Randomize
