The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
Randomize
