I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
My underwear smells like fireworks.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
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