Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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