Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
Randomize
