I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
Randomize
