I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
