Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize
