One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
Randomize
