I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
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