dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
Randomize
