i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
The beers last night were like the tears from god
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
Randomize
