Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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