now i know why i became what i already was.
Little spoons don't ask big questions
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Randomize
