I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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