He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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