Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
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Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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