its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
Randomize
