I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
We need to rekindle our bromance
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
