But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
Randomize
