So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Randomize
