Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
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