its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize