Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
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