I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
nutella sex= disaster
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
you told grandpa to call you daddy
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
The power of my boobs compel you
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
How does it feel to date your dad?
Randomize
