Do vagina's smell?
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
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The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
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It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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