One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
I need to sanitize my soul.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Randomize