New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Randomize
