i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
Randomize
