Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
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