some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
