..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
Randomize
