Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Randomize
