Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Randomize
