All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
this is an emotional support booty call
I'm really sorry I called you a "smug, arrogant, boyfriend-fucking piece of defecation". I was super drunk.
I was going to be mad, but then I remembered you don't use autocorrect and spelled everything correctly and I was kinda impressed.
Randomize
